The Year Of Optometry

This was supposed to be our year! The year of the optometrists. 20/20. Arguably one of the best puns we could ever have. Only slightly better than the fact we’ll have to settle for 20/25. Anyway, next year hopefully isn’t going to be claimed by anyone. We’re all just going to walk in, not touch anything, and be quiet.

I’m going to finish off this year of blogs with some optometry jokes because we all need the year to end with a smile.

How many optometrist does it take to change a light bulb?
One . . . Or two? . . . One . . . . . . Or two?

So I stopped by the optometrist yesterday for an eye exam.
He told me my eyesight was so bad 20/20 might be the only responsible way to describe it.



A patient walks into an optometrist’s office.
The optometrist starts the eye exam and casually asks her if there’s any particular reason she came in for a checkup.
“Doctor, I think I am having hallucinations. Every time I open my eyes, I see really dark things. Evil. Malice. Hatred. Plague. I am seeing the worst in everything. Nothing looks like it used to. It’s as if everything I see is shrouded in darkness.”
The optometrist sits back from the patient, confused.
“That’s interesting,” he said, “because from what I can tell, you see 20/20.”

The optometrist said to his patient, “Your results are in.”
The patient asked, “Can I see them?”
“Probably not.”

What do you call a blind optometrist
Eyeronic

Why did the optometrist set his clock to military time?
To see 20:20

I think my optometrist is evil. When I went for an appointment he came out to the waiting room and shouted:
You’ll see! You’ll all see!

Why do optometrists always live long lives?
It’s because they dilate.

A patient goes to a new optometrist.
“What seems to be the problem?”
“Well something is wrong with my left eye. It doesn’t seem right.”
“Well that’s because it’s your left. Any other questions?”

My optometrist likes to make eye puns.
They keep getting cornea and cornea.

Enjoy your holiday season and don’t forget to use your benefits before the end of the year!